WHAT DO I DO?! I need a layout of my own behavior!

Well at least I bypass the "panic" step more often now.

The sad and somewhat ironic thing about this is that all of that overload and panic happens weeks before anything is due.

(Reminder to self: This is old; t'was done last year and redone here.)

Is there a way to fix what is wrong?

I suck at writing nowadays, so I'm just going to type this as a "stream of consciousness," like what my old English teacher called it when she gave me a D on my first paper in the class.

It frustrates me. Not the people in particular, but more the things they do.

My closest friends have ideas like mine for the most part (if you'd say I really have any close friends). Therefore, I've drifted way apart from other people, and it's safe to say I'm cut off from them when I'm not at school. I'm really content with things as they are... For the most part.

I'm not about to settle for just any boy, so why should I for friends? Sure, I can get along with everyone, but there are just things I can't agree with ideologically.

It just hurts when I'm at school, because I'm there but I'm not really with them. I've been told I'm always awkward around people.. And since that statement I've noticed it.. everywhere.



Hmph. I'm not funny anymore, nor am I talkative or all that excitable anymore. I like this better; it lets me focus more fully on things. I like quietly observing things and listening, but I doubt that's always all that comfortable for people I'm around. I just don't know what to say back sometimes.

I think things in response, yes, but I just don't usually think them important enough to translate into words and express them.

I guess I've changed in a different way than everyone else has.